Crying is Important

Crying is Important

‘No strong boys don’t cry.’

‘Nothing happened, don’t cry like a baby.’

How often do we use these statements with our kids, when they get hurt or fall or are sad, or crying for whatever reason.

This is one big mistake that most elders do, to stop a kid from crying. Research shows that ‘crying plays a very important role in a child’s growing up.’ I believe that if your child is hurt let him or her cry their heart out. This teaches them to express their emotions, which is very important for good mental health.

Besides curbing their emotions another wrong message that such statements send across is that ‘if you are strong you cannot cry.’ Every human has emotions and curbing them or expressing them doesn’t make one strong or weak.

‘Don’t cry like a girl’; this is one statement that angers me most. Just to stop them from crying for a moment what are we teaching are kids, that girls are weak and boys are strong. Imagine the impact it makes on their impressionable young minds; and these boys when they grow up we expect them to treat the girls as their equal. How is this possible when unknowingly we have only taught them otherwise.

Yes, you should pacify them but I suggest change your phrase to something like,

‘I know its hurting, it will get better.’ or may be ‘getting hurt is a part of growing up, next time just be more careful.’

The important thing here is to understand, that a child while growing up needs to learn to express all his emotions equally well, if he can laugh and play loudly; he can cry loudly as well.

The importance of crying can be understood with the fact that a child is made to cry immediately at birth by the doctor, as it is important for his brain development.

But sometimes kids do cry to seek attention, or throw tantrums, in sitautions like this it is right for a parent to stop them, because by doing so we are not stopping their emotional expression but are teaching them good manners.

So, all in all we need to be wise enough to let our kids express their feelings and emotions; always in any situation, for them to grow up as healthy individuals.

Dr. Vidhi Pipara – Psychologist from Ahmedabad, Gujarat in India

 

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